你在那里? 我好想你。。。

Most people ard me are feeling down this few weeks. Somehow it will affect my mood too... But no matter wat, i still have to remain the strong Amelia infront of everyone even i'm feeling down. I really really wish tat ppl ard me can be happy always. Free frm problems, i noe it impossible. Problems are always there, but i hope tat they can think of the brighter side of it and not really got affected by it. There is always sun shine at the end of the rain.

I really wonder if i'm really feeling happy or they are all fake feelings to show ppl. I cant even differenation the kind of feeling i'm having? Why do i have this kind of feeling? When can i be the real happy self? Am i running away frm problems, or am i already facing the fact and have accept it? Things juz chng, and it so hard to accept it. It really pain to go thru all this. Ppl may sae, no pain no gain. But have they ever put themselves into our shoes?

When was the day that i really lost myself, and when is the dae tat i will find back myself? By cutting off my hair, things can change ma? (haha... silly of me! really veri silly of mi...)

Juz hate this feeling...

I have the feeling of crying again... But i juz cant cry... I juz dunno y, i cant stop thinking abt it. Today went to court with mummy for the hearing for the divorce. Well mum n dad now consider divorce le. 3 more months frm now they will sign the divorce cert.

Sat in the court for an hr, seeing lots of divorce cases. You noe how scary it was to see and hear it. I really pity those small little kids. The youngest was 11 mths n he juz cant have a complete family to grow up. I understand tat when both ppl cant get along, n they have no feelings for each other there's no point to carry on with the relationship.

But wat the vow they took during their ROM? How many relationship can last forever? Loving each other is juz loving them with your heart but not brain. Being there for each other whenever you need each other support. Keeping each other company at times, showing support for one another... True love? Is loving someone with your heart... Is tat so difficult to do so???

Y cant ppl juz be content??? Y muz human be so greedy??? Having one person to love is not enough?? Y do ppl always wan to look for another one? Feelings fate off so easy ma? Wat are those time that you guys have went thru? Dun feel pain about it ma? Is it so easy to let go when you sae you wan to let go? The scar there will make you stronger ma??? Is there a person who can love one person with all his/her life??? There is so many WHY!!!

Is there a thing call happy ending??? I juz feeling real down now... I start to.... :( Can i.... :(