It juz flow....

Today so 丑of myself. I actually cried during bqt lesson. N today is our 2nd monthsary, n this is the first time i let u see me crying :( juz felt so stressed up this few weeks. always have the feeling of crying out but juz can't cry out.

My dad called mi yesterday informing mi tat he will be hospitalized for 5 days due to his mouth. Very pack with my projects and test, i juz can't find time to visit him but to ask him to take care of himself. Really wonder wat type of illness he is having.

Everything juz happen to come in non stop. So hard to breathe at time... Bqt project so many things to touch up n to add on. Actually this project due on Friday, Baljit is so nice to postpone it to next Monday. When i heard him saying tat the stone in there juz drop, n my tears start to flow.

During the project brief, i dunno y i cried again. The tears juz flow... Haha... Baljit n the rest got so shock. Baljit can see tat i'm really very stress up n noe tat i'm so called running the show myself. As my classmate sae, by right is Baljit is there to scare us, end up i'm the one who scare him... Hahah....

But after crying, i really felt better. Is like finally i can cry out. Din noe tat after crying i can feel so much better. I may look veri strong out there, but at time when i can't take it i really will juz break down. I noe i have to b strong, i will. As i noe tat i can't juz give up half way thru...

Had a simple dinner with baby. It may b a veri simple, but i really enjoyed it a lot! hugs baby :) thank you for bringing my smile back n your company :)

I always believe this 我们能用金钱来买任何东西。可是幸福和快乐都不能用金钱来买!

HaPpY 2 mONtHSaRy bAbY :)

Thank you for your company for this 2 mths. Without you ard, i'm sure my life will not fill with so much laughter. With your company, i felt so peacefull. I juz can leave all my worries/stress i have behind. Enjoying the time with you. Lots of things have happen within this 2 mths, i really hope tat no matter wat happen we can stay strong togethere. I'm so sorry tat this few weeks, i can't spend time with you. Let mi settle with my projects and exams and i will arrange time out with you. Hope tat we can have countless days, months and years together :)

You will always have mi by your side, no matter how hard time can be. Love you always, baby :) Hugs

=)

听到/看到你开心。我就开心 :)希望你天天都能带着你开心的笑容!

2 mths of medicine :(

Went to c e doc yesterday. have been having mens for twice a mth for 3 mths le. n this never happen b4 :( have to take medicine for 2 mths. when the doc told mi the medicine i'm going to take is actually the prevention prenanacy medicine. I juz got blank for a sec. Asked if there is any side effect, lucky there's no side effect. n this medicine will help me to have my regular mens back. if in 2 mths time, there's no improvement i will need to take for long term like 6 mths.

the doc asked mi wat have cause this irregular mens. i think it really due to the stress i'm having now. have try to take things lighty, but the stress is still there. din go to sch today, juz can't pull myself out of bed. n i'm actually on 2 days mc... sigh, sat also have make up lesson...

how i wish things can settle soon... but is juz the matter of time. i will keep my words, i will hang on there. u too k! jia you everyone :) hugs

Submission of report!

Never felt so nervous b4 when the clock abt to hit 12am. Not even my bday or wat big day. Was rushing for my project draft to send to Mr Baljit by 12am. Only manage to send it to him at 1208am.

Sigh... Other grp, having their grp members online doing/rushing the project together. But mi... SOLE! 2 flower vases, one no msn, one bro need to use com. And i got to run the show by myself.

I'm really feeling veri tired to run the show by myself. Ppl will alway look at mi as if i'm a person who can lead the grp. Run the show without any mistake. I'm tired! I'm stress! I can't do it alone! I'm a ordinary person, like other girls who need protection. I'm being force to be who i am today. Can i juz sit back n juz relax n u take the lead???

I juz think tat ppl ard mi r taking mi for granted. Who actually using their true heart to treat mi as a fren. I juz dun feel it, but i juz think u ppl there r taking mi for granted. N the feeling of it really hurt. I need a BREAK! I need ppl to PROTECT mi too...

At time i juz feel like juz crying :( i'm starting to fall a part.

Do you believe in true love?

Today's comprehension lesson we had debate, topic is on do you believe in true love? N we were separated into 2 grp. I was belong to the dun believe in true love. During this session juz let mi think of wat my parents are going thru now. The feeling was really sucks, i almost cried during the debate session. I juz had no mood after tat. N juz walked out the class to catch some air. N i also can see jay was affected by it. What is true love? Do ppl take love for granted? Do they appreciated/treasure wat they have?

Everything juz happen in one goal. The lawyer called mi up, to ask mi abt the paper work. Tml need to acc mum down to the law firm to sign some doc. Dad called mi... N ya, he asked mi is it tat i dun dare to pick up his call. Juz gave him excuses. He told mi tat his doctor will like to see mi during sept. Sigh... dunno wat illness is he having.. Also had an arguement with him on the phone.

Feeling really so tired. My body is no long aching now. Is stiff now :( i really miss my beauty sleep. Have been only sleeping for less than 4 hrs per day. During lunch break i will juz take a short nap in class. Juz got to endure with it. N i will...

Shall end here, going shower now n need o carry on with my project!

Hang on???

Everyone ard me asking me to hang on there. Was asking myself if i should hang on there, n wat is the purpose to do so. Thinking over it, shit juz happen at time. You juz can't avoid it, but to face it. But at time it really so tired n u really juz wan to give up. Some thing juz make u really feel like going crazy. I should say, without u. I have gave up long ago.

Having headache n bodyache this few days. N i think this period of time i took the most panadol. Have no choice, my stress level is going up. I noe i have to endure with it, juz learn from every steps ba. Dun worry, i still can handle it no matter wat.

Dad called mi a couple of time, i juz dun dare to ans his cal. Cos i dunno wat he is going to tell mi.

Some time juz hope tat we can always have a positive mind set. But at time it so difficult to do so. So hope things can go smooth as everyone wish too... The feeling of it is so pain at time!

Jia you, in wat u do! :)

Jia you :)

Haha... So happy now... Hpy is going to meet his bf now! The puzzle can complete today le :) I'm so happy for you girl.. Huggies... May happiness b with u always, n enjoy every process k!

Thoughts...

Yesterday went drinking with HPY at Esplanade. Hope she's feeling better after crying out, n the hang over will get away soon. I always console ppl by teling them wat to do n wat they should not do. But after going thru myself it really not easy to do so. It always easy to say than do.

But i still believe in this, in a relationship it alway need two hands to clap. If it a one way traffic relationship things r hard to solve. The wound may be there, but u have to heal it. If it leave a scar there, is not for us to hate the person. But to remind us not to repeat the same old mistake. In the process, there's pain in it. All this pain let us learn n wake us up at time. Everyone deserve a second chance, is up to us to give them tat chance to try it again. We muz always learn how to give n take but not to take each other for granted.

The last piece of puzzle is not missing, is with you. It depend on you if you wan to place it back. I hope tat things can be resolve soon. N the HPY i got to know, come back soon. Jia you...

To love a person it take time, but to hate a person is so easy. If we really love the person, we love them as who they are. Trying to help them to b a better person in different kind of ways. Standing by them, no matter rain or shine. Thinking of them when you're alone and many more...

Frenz who r in love, jia you :) those who r single, hope u will find him soon:) love you guys loads

Love you alway baby :)

Darkness

wat if i juz disappear one day...

i think i'm reaching the tip... can u pls pls pls... stop it... i can't take it anymore... stop it b4 i do it...

Confuse

Phone calls juz keep coming in. So pissed off. My dad called mi quite a couple of time today. Tell mi to ask my mum to pay for his rent. WTF... Y muz she pay for you, u r the one who agreed to shift out de. N now u wan mum to pay for your rent. Wat a man u r! U juz disappoint mi time by time. N phone calls frm the law firm.

Sigh... I din do well in my bqt op test today. Juz can't get anything into my mind. I think i'm going to diappoint lots of ppl this term. I'm sorry, i'm really trying my best to do well. But juz hardly can pull myself back. This few mths too many things happen le. Till i'm lossing myself. How i wish i can be who i am last time.

Ppl ard mi think tat i have chng a lot. Asking mi wat happen to mi! Also dunno how to tell them wat happen. I juz can't act in front of ppl who i really feel comfortable with. I'm really tired, i really need a break. I dun feel like going sch anymore. I juz feel like keeping myself away frm ppl which i used to do it when i'm really down. Can i give myself a long break...

If you have problems, you still can share with mi. I'm here for you always. I still can cope with it, u're not adding any load to mi. My listening ears n shoulder r there for you :)

Some time i really wish time can be turn back. Can i have my tears n smile back, can i have my happiness back pls pls pls...

I LOVE YOU!

The most hurting part in life is when you leave your love ones. It so hurting to let go off you. I juz can't bear, n hold you tightly. I dun wish to lost any love ones any more. My family have been split into two. N i it really veri pain to go thru all this, i dun wan this feeling anymore.

I really hope that i always
-can be under your arm
-have you to hold my hand
-have you to call mi dear/silly girl,
-have you to hug me with your love to warm mi
-can receive your msg telling mi, you miss/love me etc

Baby, i love you. I hope tat the feeling is not fading but will grow stronger day by day. Let's hold on tight n carry on walking together.

The feeling is so pain in there n i juz hope i can cry out!

I'm Blank

Am i really blank? Or i juz dun wan to face the pro? Wat do i really wan? Do i have the ans with mi??? Am i being too selfish?? Shall i say out how i'm feeling???

Arrgg... Juz dun like the feeling tat i'm having... SUCKS....

I'm sorry to hurt u again.

Esther, take care n b careful at work :) Miss you too... Will try to meet up with you!

Will be shifting back to jurong hse to stay this week. Have to burn mid night oil le. Haven really start on my project n i have only 2 more weeks to go :( Arrggg... Who can help mi??? Only mi myself ba!

My mission completed for this 3 days! I'm really broke le, bread for the next following weeks... Hahah... Sat, brought shamaine out. She told mi her things slowly, n i'm glad tat she shared with mi. Will bring her out more if i can. Sun, went to celebrated pin's bday. Hope she really enjoy herself :) Today, going out with my dearest girls:) singing session... haha... c u girls later :)

I need more time, pls....

So many things to follow up, 24 hrs a day seems not to b enough. Projects, test, homework, family matter etc... No matter wat have to endure. Have to manage my time. Ppl ard mi may think tat i'm neglecting them. But i'm really so sorry, i really din mean to. Give mi some time to clear everything on hand n i will get back to you. As i alway say, i may b busy, but i do still care a lot for you guys. I may not be there, but my listening ears r there for you.

Meeting Shamaine tml, hopefully she will share her problem with mi. Sigh... Nowadays teenages are not like who we r last time. Thay r really like an adult now. Sometime also dunno wat they're thinking. Hope tat i can help her up. My elder bro juz told me, after his knee op. He went back to work, n now his jobless. That is reality, we juz need to face tat. When u can work, bosses will appreciate/or take u for granted. But when u can't sorry, there you go. Bro, hang on there! Jia you for your taxi license... Dong jia bu da, da xi jia :)

Changes r made all ard us! In order to catch up with ppl ard us, we juz need to blend in at time. Juz need to act blur at time, dun take thing too hard. Ppl may give us difficult time, take all this as a training n not a personal attack. At the end of the day, you will learn something. Take every step as a learning process. Ppl ard us may b fake, they may take us for granted, who cares. Juz b ourself, noe where we stand. After so many things have happen ard mi, i alway tell myself this. No matter wat life still have to go on. Y not b happy n try not to take things to hard n move on. It may b easy to say, n had to do. But we never try, we never noe. Share our problem, juz grumbler everything out. Wat is the point to keep everything in there where end up u go back to same point. Move on n see things at the brighter side :)Rainbow is juz right ahead! I'm very stressed up with things, but i still move on. Cos i noe i'm not alone.

Love you lots ppl... Jia you :)

I juz like this 2 msg i received:

-Being taken for granted can be a compliment. It means tat you've become a comfortable, trusted person in another person's life.

-You cannot love or hate something about other person unless it reflects something you love or hate about yourself.

I'm sorry!

Baby, i'm really so sorry to hurt u all the time. But i juz din wan to hide those feelings frm you.Perhaps i have went thru too many things by myself. N now having u ard, i tend to rely on u more. When things happen n i'm down i really hope tat u will be there for mi to comfort me.

I'm here for you always, i hope tat frm now on u really can share all up n down, no matter small or big issue with mi. U're not adding any load on mi. I want to do my part as a gf to b there for u no matter wat. No matter hard/happy time, i wan to go thru with you...U're no longer alone now, you have me along with you. Thank you for not giving up hope in this relatioship. Within this 1 1/2 mths lots of things happen. N it hurt u, i'm really veri sorry.

I really wonder did i bring u happiness or more sadness to you in this relatioship. But really thanks for putting in colours in my life. The time with you always bring my smile back :) Thank you baby, love you lots...

Life can be simple

Juz watched this moive, 13 going on 30. Actually life/love can b veri simple n happy. Juz tat ppl tend to expect a lot for ourself n others. Juz be ourself,, treasure wat we have. The most important is not to regret in wat we do. Move on where we fall... There's nothing called the fairy tale story in real life! Y do we always wan to put high expectation on ourself n others? SIGH... By doing so, can make us go even higher ma, y not juz follow our heart n live on happily.

Y ppl tend to hurt themselves when their down, ppl can u guys stop doing tat to yourself. Stop torturing yourself... It so heart pain to hear tat u're doing tat to urself.

Hate falling sick... Having bad flu, sore throat, bodyache n feverish...

I miss you gals... I miss you baby... :(

Life have to go on, y not juz b happy :) somethings happen r meant for us to learn frm it. Some incident realy hurt us deeply, but shit juz happen at time. Y not juz face it n solve it. JIA YOU, EVERYONE :)