I cried like a baby..

I cried like a baby few days back. My tears just flow non stop and the feeling of it is so painful. I miss mummy so much! I want her badly by myside. Things seems to go back to square. Bro and da sao if filing for divorce now. And yes, I'm the middle person between them. Helping them to relay message. It really really hurt to see them going thru all this. The kids are still young. And going thru all this process again, let me think back what i have went thru. True enough to say, when you really can stay happy together. Just give back each other happiness and move on from them. Scar will be there, and it remind you what you have went thru and not to redo it again. Going thru all this let me really wonder who will be my side when i really need help. Who will appreciate what i have done. Who will be there for me if i really need someone to be there. Mummy have done so much for everyone. When she was around, no one show appreciation. When she needs help, she got back stab by her best friend. Is only till the day, when she closed her eyes, everyone started to notice how much she have done for each and single person. I'm a lost kid now. I shall be blessed to have Max with me. He really helped me in small little things. Lele have shifted to his place, his family have been helping me to take good care of lele. I have been staying over his place for the past few months. His family have treated me well. Bro have been out station almost every month. I hate to swollow all the pain by myself. But I cant split it out, cause i need to support the kids and my family. I'm in pain!!!! I felt so happy to see Shuyu n Kristy finding their Mr Right! I can see that they will be well taken care of! They have all my best wishes and blessing. My tears that flow for them are happiness tears. Knowing that they have found that Mr Right, and they deserve every single thing from their husband. Tears flow because I miss mum too!! I cant have mum by my side when i get marry. She cant be there to withness me finding the Mr Right, she can see her grandchild. She cant be there to share all my happiness as others have their parents to be there to share happiness during their wedding. But i do not have.. I feel like backing up, staying in my own world all alone. I'm tired, i'm lost!!! I dunno where i am!! I felt all alone! I shutted myself up!!! Who are my true friends? I really do not know!!!