Missing you every single day!!!

Mummy... How are you doing??? I miss you so much!!! I have so much to tell you. Days without you is so painful till no words can be describe. Is a nightmare to me, to have you leaving us behind.

Everyone is asking me, how am i, how am i coping with things. I only can lie to everyone, I'm doing good. There is nothing else i can say. Cause there is nothing can be describe. I have went through lost of down period. Breaking up, parents divorce, and different kinds of experience. But nothing can compare with losing my mum.

I miss her every single day, i fight with my tears everyday. I cry like a baby at times when i really miss her. The most painful day was during CNY eve. I was all alone. I miss her so much, i cried out. I cant hold my tears. I really miss her... I hope she was beside me.

I'm a child without a parents now!!! I hate my dad!!! Yes!!! The word is HATE, and i will not forgive him... He was the one created all this. I do not have him as my dad!!!

If mum is around, things will be better. Now everything just do not seems to turn well. Having one of my best frend ignoring me now. It really hurt a lot!!! And I truly understand how mummy felt last time. I have made up my mind, I leaving HOTEL LINE. YES... That was always my dream to work and progress from there. After mum's death, I cant bring myself to stay in Hotel line.

At times, I really felt that there is no one that understand me and anyone that I can trust. I really rather to be alone. Letting myself to die in my silent... There is no way for me to express myself but to cry under the blanket. Friends will always tell you, we're here for you. You're not alone. But having going through all this torture of pain, i'm still alone!!!

I cant deny that still have lovely people around me. Who still cares a lot for me. I'm really very thankful for everything that was showered on me.

Mummy was always the one that made me a strong gal.. But now she have left... My pillar have collapse... And i'm starting to fall apart...

Yes, everyone telling me I should be strong. Mummy dont want to see me in this state. Mummy is in a better world with no pain and with more happiness... But have anyone really know how painful the feeling is...

Mummy, I MISS YOU AND I LOVE YOU ALWAYS!!!!