ANGRY

I have never get so angry before! N i have never talk to a person so rude b4! My dad called mi in the afternoon. Asking mi abt the divorce statement... Asking mi things which make mi so boiled up when answering his question.

Spoke to his lawyer... Make mi really wonder if this lawyer is really qualified. He juz sound like any old man sitting at the coffee shop drinking beer or coffee! He do not sound professional at all! Can u imagin a lawyer arguing with mi over the phone. Telling mi tat wat is stated in the email is not wat i said. I was so pissed off. WTF... U wan us withdraw the PPO n the 2 statements we have done. Wat do u wan next. Can't u understand wat the email is trying to tell u. We have deleted the statement. We will only bring up to court UNLESS he disapprove to divorce or with any other things. Got so angry n i told him no point for mi to argue with you on the phone. Since u r representing my dad, n my mum have a lawyer to respresent her. Call my lawyer n speak to the lawyer, dun argue with mi.

My dad took the phone back n argue the same thing with mi. I really got so angry i really raise my voice over the phone. If u think you can believe wat ur lawyer tell you, pls go ahead and listen to him. I have said wat i wan to say.

My dad called mi at night again, ask mi to meet him downstairs to talk. I told him if u have something to tell mi, juz say it over the phone. He can tell mi he have no time to waste n wan to meet mi to settle this thing. I told him straight, i also have no time. Juz talk over the phone. WTF... Threaten mi to kill yourself... Go ahead, u think i really care! I will be even more happy when u are not ard! I can have my PEACE! I noe i should not say this, but i juz dun like ppl to threaten mi. And you are just trying you luck to climb over my head. I have my limit, i can be nice to you. But i'm sorry you do not gain them anymore. You have destroy them by your own hands. Telling mi you wan the divorce to be done ASAP! Hello... who is the one dragging... Telling mi the email is not clear! R u trying to tell mi your lawyer dun understand the terms... Is really a joke when u tell ppl. I juz ask him, you mean your lawyer dun understand english but only chinese ar! What crap are you tring to tell me... You wan to play the game, i play with you. At the end, you will really loss out not me! You are the one who aske for it! Not us...

We din push u to the end, we gave you path to walk. But you choose the dead end yourself! Dun put the blame on others when you made your own choice!!! I think you are the one trying to push us to the end, NOT US!!!

Random

Juz have the mood to blog. I'm feeling happy now... Happy for my frenz who r getting married, who have found their Mr Right! It juz a blessing to see ur frenz especially your best frenz getting married soon. Shuyu, i will start saving up now for your big day :)

One week of holiday, n it end so fast. How i wish i can have longer holiday! Having slight flu. Haha... Sign of dun wan to go sch! I juz have to pack my feeling n really get myself back to STUDY! I have already lost myself last term, n this term i really have to study real hard to get myself back. I dun dare to get my results back, juz dun dare to see the result i'm getting for this term... :(

Had a wonderful day with baby yesterday! Thanks baby :)

Hope everyone ard me will be happy always! Be positive always, n jia you in wat ever u guys do :) Love you guys lots , hugs :) :) :)

HaPpY 3 mONtHSaRy bAbY :)

Let's us hold on tight n walk together no matter how tough the path is ok? Love you always...

Happy Birthday Celia! Missing u deeply :(

Missing girl!

Juz din noe wat happen to me today! Is just not me, not the Amelia tat everyone noe. Was trying veri hard to study for my POC paper today. Nothing can go in at all, is juz only blank... My head is so heavy! Get so scared tat dunno wat i can do. Tears juz flow, really flow... N keep staring at the open window!... I really din have this kind of bad feeling before! I'm really lost, i din noe wat i can do. All in my mind is i dun wan to go for my paper today. I'm not prepared at all. I will sure do veri badly for my exam.

I juz dun wan to go, i wan to stay at home n lock myself up. I'm disappointing everyone ard mi. I'm not doing well in my studies anymore. I have lost myself... I cannot concentrate on my studies at all... I'm no longer the strong girl tat u all noe. All r my parents problem. I need a get away... I think i will really break down one day! I wan to run away... I wan to be a girl who can be protected always!!! I wan to be juz like any girl out there...

I'm really thankful to have u ppl ard mi. I can feel the care u guys giving mi. But i think i'm giving up on myself. I really dunno how long i can hold on to it. I'm sorry... Amelia have went missing... She have lost her way.... Her surrounding r full of darkness... She really dunno wat she should do! She's calling help deep in there!!!

Ur words juz can't b trust!!

U r making me pissed! Ur words juz can't b trust at all. Wat do think u r doing??? U have done something but u do not admit to it! Wat the F... Saying our lawyer this n tat... Use ur brain n think for yourself. Who is the one dragging the time n wasting the money!

Just get out from my sight... I juz dun wish to see you and listening to wat u wan to say. I have been so nice to step back n u r juz climbing on my head now! Tat it... U r the one who do not noe how to treasure wat u have. Do wat u wan n i will not bother, i juz noe tat we have to fight for our rights!

Stop coming to mi and ask mi wat to do. U r so scary, ur words cannot be believe at all. Not a single word! Go listen to wat others tell you! They will help you, they r not there to harm u! We r... Use your big brain to think lar... How old are you... U r juz like a coward... I WILL NOT FALL ON TRICK ANYMORE!!! U ASK FOR IT!

Missing you!

2 months plus... U have left us to another world... How i wish u r still ard!

Dreamt of celia on Saturday night. It was a nightmare. I dreamt that she actually jump off the building. The first time i manage to stop her, but the second time i was too late. By the time i found her i saw her landing on the ground.

Feeling so guilty... I should have spend more time when she was ard, should not have let go and hold her tight... Wondering if she coming to me, wanting to tell mi something. How i wish she could have tell mi the reason for leaving us. Really miss her so much. I'm not being scared by the dream, but keep thinking abt her. Miss her so much...

Thanks to "someone" who play a prank on mi by telling mi he had the same dream as mi. N i really believed in wat he said, he even tell mi abt it b4 my writing skills paper. N i hardly can concentrate, i keep thinking if she really got something tat she wan to tell us. At the end of the paper than i noe it was a prank! I was so pissed off... WTF... I can take any joke, i can play with u. But not on this... I hate to have nightmare... It always have something behind it... It not the first time tat come true, tat's y i always believe in my dream n i dun keep my dream.

Celia girl, i hope u have found your happiness there... Forgetting everything and start a new fresh life up there... You are always in our heart, we miss your smile! Miss you lots! You are always the angel in our heart!

Had a scary dream!!!

Had a scary dream last night. Dream of my teeth drop off. N i look so ugly n it so scary. When i woke up the dream was still veri clear in my mind! Actually this is the second time i dream of my teeth dropping off! I can't believe f this really happen. The following is wat i research on:

- One theory is that dreams about your teeth reflect your anxiety about your appearance and how others perceive you. (i'm feeling so fat n ugly, i wan go on diet. i wan to slim down :)
- Another rationalization for these falling teeth dream may be rooted in your fear of being embarrassed or making a fool of yourself in some specific situation. These dreams are an over-exaggeration of your worries and anxiety. (on family, n sch work :(
- You are having difficulties expressing yourself or getting your point across. You feel frustrated when your voice is not being heard. You may be experiencing feelings of inferiority and a lack of self-confidence in some situation or relationship in your life. This dream is an indication that you need to be more assertive and believe in the value of your own opinion. ( ya, at time mum dun listen to wat i sae. Wat bro say is always rite. afraid tat my presentation will not do well :(
- A scriptural interpretation for bad or falling teeth indicate that you are putting your faith, trust, and beliefs in what man thinks rather than in the word of God. The bible says that God speaks once, yea twice in a dream or a vision in order to hide pride from us, to keep us back from the pit, to open our ears (spiritually) and to instruct and correct us.
- In the Greek culture, when you dream about loose, rotten, or missing teeth, it indicates that a family member or close friend is very sick or even near death. (think is my dad ba, his appointment is this month n his doc wan to speak to mi)
- According to the Chinese, there is a saying that your teeth will fall out if your are telling lies. (ya, i did tell a lie to my team mates, but they force mi to do so de)
- It has also been said that if you dream of your teeth falling out, then it symbolizes money. This is based on the old tooth fairy story. If you lose a tooth and leave it under the pillow, a tooth fairy would bring you money. (haha... who is bringing money to mi!!! i wan go shopping...)

After readin it, the dream is like so true with wat is going on in my life... juz hope everything will go well. Juz wan everyone to be happy n pink in health :)

No pain no gain!!!

Thought today will be a bad day to start with this week. However it did not turn out the way i thought! Today have 2 presentations! It was a WOW for the 2 presentations. Mentors gave veri positive comments. N we did veri well in it and even scored full marks for POC :)

We have put our hard work in all projects, n finally we can c the final result. Expectation are there to work forward to it. Stress, lack of sleep, lossing temper etc all came in during this period of time. But after getting all the results really made it so worth on it. Even we have some free rider in it, but everything is over. Juz take this period of time to see how a person work n wat type of ppl they are. We may have some unhappiness/misunderstanding in between but it all over! Cos it only part of the process n now everything is over :)

After exams, i really wan to enjoy myself. No one is going to stop mi for wat i wan to do. N also to get back my beauty sleep....

Now i juz have to work hard on my bqt presentation on fri. Sigh... Juz dunno how it will turn out... N follow by exams...
Thanks guys for ur support :) I will jia you... Hang on to where u r, dun give up n let us walk thru the path together! Hugs, love u guys lots :)

So tired!!!

Shits juz happen, n never noe when it will end. Friday is really a bad day for mi! I did something which i din expect myself to do!

I'm so tired but i juz can't sleep... Projects to do... Monday will b really monday blue for mi. 3 projects due n 2 presentation.

OMG! Exam week is juz like one week away :( so stress! after my papers i dun care i juz wan to enjoy myself n leave everything behind. I have not really enjoy myself for so long le!

Thanks guys for supporting mi frm the back! I really din expect u guys to do tat!!! Thank you so much... Hugs

Baby, thanks for the company today! It really been hard for you for this few weeks! Let mi noe if u can't take the stress level!!!

I noe i have to be strong, life still got to go on... Juz dun compare mi with others can le. Juz let mi have a simple n peacful life. :)

The other side of mi!

Tried calling 2 of my best frenz when i really need someone to talk to. Happen tat both of them din ans i juz gave up calling. I off my phone... Dun feel like answering any calls or msg. I juz have the feeling back again! i juz wan to hide myself away from everyone... dun feel like talking, dun feel like doing anything... Even dun feel like answering the questions my mum ask mi.

I'm tired, i'm stress, i'm lost.. Wat do u guys wan frm mi, who can understand wat i wan n how i feel! Everyone execpt mi to understand them, who understand mi... U wan ans frm mi within a min, u expect mi to give u the ans w/o thinking abt it. U r juz pushing mi to the end!!!

Y can't u guys juz tell each other wat u wan... Y muz make mi the middle person! I really have enough of everything! I juz hate ppl taking mi for granted!!! Dun ask mi any questions... Dun tell mi wat to do... I juz need peace and understanding... Y can't i have them... Who can be there to standby mi 24/7 whenever i need company... Think the only person is mi, myself!

Was on the bus, n looked up at the sky n was thinking how is the life at 天堂! Tears juz flow when i was in the bus :(

Juz gone within a sec!

It always so easy to take away a person's smile within a second. But to bring make a person to smile frm the heart it so hard!

Really dunno wat i can do, only thing i can think of is to be there for u if u need mi. Juz hang on there!


( feeling so helpless/heart pain)