HATING THAT FEELING!

i juz dunno y recently i juz dun wish to keep anything by myself. Is it bcos there's no more space for mi to store anything in there. I'm juz feeling veri tired. My dad have been calling mi everyday, to check if i'm doing fine. N y is he doing this now?? I din tell my mum n alice . Juz dun wan to them noe, dun wan them to worry abt mi. N they will noe i will feel veri stressd by answering his call. But i have no choice but to ans n listen to wat he wan to say. I'm getting myself ready to meet up with him alone this sunday. N i will keep this away frm everyone(but not those reading my blog) dun worry, i will b fine de. He will not do anything to mi de. If he really do, things meant to happen will happen.

Feel like messaging joanie to su ku to her... But i believed tat she's being pissed off with mi le ba, or i should say i have been repeating the same old thing to her every time. So ya, swallow everything in. N type everything into the blog, blog now is my blood... haha... Let mi store all my sad moment here, n hope i can delete off them in my heart soon. It matter of time.

Y is it falling for someone is such a PAIN??? At time i really dunno wat i should do for the next step!! Arghhh... I hate that kind of feeling... :( Wat if one day i really juz walk off??? Will u hate mi?

Jaryl can u stop blaming yourself, it really nothing to do with you. The pro really lies on mi, nothing to do with u. If the both of you carry on like tat, i can say i will juz walk out. N u guys will start a new life w/o my present. It veri hurting to see u guys like tat. For mi to fall for someone is not easy, but i can juz walk out frm it if u wan mi to. I can, it juz e matter of time for mi to heal e wound in there. I did it b4, n if happen again i juz need to face it. U told mi not to ignore you, i will not. Cos if i do so, i myself dun feel good. I dun wan you guys to keep saying sorry to mi. N pls stop saying u're useless, u r not!!! I juz wan u guys to carry on walking but not to stop at tat point. I dun wan any of you to be so upset bcos of mi.

Now is really my down period, at time i really dunno wat i should do. Something is stuck in my heart, i wan it to b out frm there! I juz find it hard to breathe at time, i juz wan to cry out! I CAN'T!!! I'M TRYING HARD TO MOVE ON!!! I got so lost at time, but i noe with the support of u guys out there i need to carry on moving. I will de... All i wan is everyone to b happy. I wan my happiness n peacefully life back!!!

All i need now is the understanding n acc frm my loves n my true frens! Pls bear with mi!! I really appreciate every single thing u guys have done for mi.