More thing r coming up!!!

My mum have her PPO on hand le... N my dad called to asked mi, y was te letter being stick right infront of the door step. I really din expect tat the goverment will actually paste it rigth at the door step when they can't get him. He was very angry n i told him if i noe they going to do it tat way. I will have tell them not to. N 1/7 is the court hearing. He asked mi if i'm going... I really dunno how to ans him. Cos i'm scared to go... I dunno wat will happen...

I have broke the news to him on tues. He say he will sign the divorce letter, n he wan hlaf the share of the hse. I think he really need the money! N it was really heart breaking to break the news to him. He was asking mi when did i noe abt this, y din i tell him earlier, if he having a guy outside, who teach her to do all this, etc... Does my mum noe how stress am i when i need to face all this for her? Telling mi how much he loves mi, how much he dote on mi etc... Saying tat he will kill the person when he find out who taught her to get a PI. I have to talk him him nicely, think b4 i talk to him. Asking him not to do all this for the sick of mi. He did promise tat he will not do all this juz becos of mi. He even told mi his sickness, he can't really move his left hand. becos of the veins from his tooth affect his hand. N it can't b cured. He even cried when he talk to mi on phone. Y r u telling mi all this?? Wat can i do for you? Do u expect mi to look after u? I'm sorry but i dun think i can... Ppl can u guys give mi a break. I really need a break, everyone is coming towards mi. I'm juz holding on there...

The most hurting part is mum ask mi to shift n stay with him when they divorce. To look after him, n in event anything happen i can have his share. Y do i wan all this money??? I noe money can do anything. But do u need to say this to mi?? Am i ur daugther? Or do u need only son. I really feel so stressed tat i dun even feel like coming home. I noe i should spend more time with her. But i need my own space to breathe too... U r telling mi the same old thing everyday, u tell mi how stress u r. Feeling uncomfortable her... I noe, but do u noe i'm aslo stressed up!! U going to break down soon, so am i?? Angry tat i get hm late, n ignoring mi... I really cannot understand y can't u take things more lightly... Wat r ur 2 sons doing?? Who is the one doing all the running for you? Acc you when u r need to go some where... I'm sorry to say tat.

Alice is getting home late this few days. As she dunno how to acc my mum. I really felt so bad. This is her hse, n she have to pei he with my mum... I really dunno wat i can do! I'm juz stuck there...

Sometime see ppl with a complete family, u really envy them. Y can't u have a happy family, y thing muz go this way??? Yesterday had dinner with alice's family, i din wan to go cos i noe is some how a father's day celebration. I din wan to tell her how i felt, but to force myself there :( I noe my dad wan to meet up with mi. But i juz dun dare to see him... I dunno y...

Thanks jaryl, joanie n jon for the accompany yesterday. Thanks for bringing mi to such a wonderful place. Letting mi to pour everything out... I noe u guys wan me to cry out, but i juz can't. Esther, hope u feel much more better after puring everything out. Pls dun do any silly things to hurt urself again. Ladies, no matter i'm single (which i am now) or attach, i will still b there for u if u need mi de. I will not juz walk away like tat. Juz call mi or msg mi if u need a shoulder or listening ears... Love u girls always :)

Jaryl, hope tat u're not stress with wat is going on this few days. As more ppl r getting to noe wat is happening between e 2 of us. N hope u will not get offened by wat joanie say k! Wat she say was not being pre plan de. Speedy recover :) N juz follow our heart...

N guys if i'm being too straight forwards this few days, pls excuse mi. Cos i dun wish to keep anything in heart anymore. No space le, i juz wan to b honest to you ppl...