New brand day!!!
I was really touch by Esther on Wednesday. Din noe tat y i juz suddenly mood swing n things at charcoal juz happen tat din went on quite smoothly. N everyone seems to b veri sian n tend to mood swing also. Wanted to go out get chocolate but din have the time. N was so upset on it. Even more sian... Happen tat she noes tat i was so craving for chocolate, she came all the way frm BB to charcoal juz to deliver the chocolates for mi. I was really shock when i saw her msg "do u know tat sometimes ur wish will come true if u pray hard." and the next momemt i juz saw rahul passing me a bag infront of mi. I really went speechless, i din got so pamper to this stage before by my frenz. I called her immediately to ask her come back. Poor girl, was so wet. She ran here to look for mi, din wan to let her classmates to c her. Sometime i really wonder y ppl tend to get jealous so easily. Is only purely frenz n sister. Wat is there to get jealous of. It juz tat u guys din bother to noe her well or even treasure wat u guys have. So i really dun get to see the point of u guys saying something nasty. But girl, thanks a lot. the chocolates really brighten up my night n also my classmates. The power of the chocolate love!!! :)
Yesterday was not a good day. Quite a no of things happen. My heart was so ache when i saw my 2 loves one tear in front of mi. N also a remark tat i din expect to come out frm her. Where shall i start... Was in the afternoon shift yesterday, when to meet pin at city hall at 0830 at city hall. To take dappy's bday present frm her. Cos will not b seeing dappy till sat. So din wan to drag till so long. N she also told mi that she feel veri sian tat no fren going to celebrate for her. So wanted to give her the surprise, so i went down to sch to look for her. Emmm... When she saw me, the first thing was shock. Than asked mi why are u here so early. I told her i specially came all the way here to look for you. N immediately she say in my face, dun bluff... You're here to look for Esther. Not ME lor... My heart juz sank, i was so disappointed i almost tear. I showed her the bag, she than got shock she said sorry to mi. Finally she believed tat i was there to send my wishes n to pass her the present. After all when i saw the smile on her face, i was happy. Is a bag tat she wanted to have! And i made her happy at the moment during her bday.
Before i went to look for dappy, i saw mark. Mark told mi tat Esther was not in a mood. She's veri stress, upset/angry with the classmates. Coz they refuse to work as a team, n everyone asking her question n din wan to work. Sometime i really wonder they r thinking. Is it bcos of their age of being too young or they're pampered at hm. Sometime i really find their thinking veri childish. Wat is e point of going against someone or to back stab a person. At the end, do you really feel happy abt it??? I really wonder at time wat ppl r thinking, can't u juz have a pure heart to treat ppl. I also hurted her deeply in the heart. I msg her something which i din mean anything. But i din noe tat hurt her so much. I'm really sorry, i promise tat i will not say tat anymore. I really felt so bad when i noe tat i said something tat i hurt her. Girl i will not b like other of ur frenz who will juz leave a footprint n juz leave u alone suddenly. I have went thru that i noe how it feel. As i always say this jie jie will b with you always. Haha... At time we really wonder if we are related. r we blood sister?? So coincidence tat things we went thru is almost the same, we have almost the same dislike/like, character also almost the same. Is like so hard to believe and tat y we can click so well. Wanted to brighten up her day by getting chocolate n mango juice for her. N when she saw mi she walked away n was angry. Hehe, but she still come out n say hi to mi after tat. We walked to the store, n she suddenly cried. N i was shock... Daryl was also... Pull her to the back, din noe wat to say but juz to lend her my shoulder to cry out. I always believed tat by crying out u will feel much more better than swallow eveything into your stomach. Can feel how stress she was by the work n how hurt she was when she saw the msg. My heart sank when i see her cry. Wat i only can do is listening ears n shoulder for her, cos i really din noe wat i say n do. Girl, in work we always learn frm our mistake frm there. No one is perfect in this world. We juz got to go on with life, at time we really can't bother too much how ppl say n look at us. If you think tat you stand firm where u r there's nothing to b afraid of. Wat have happen have happen juz carry on walking. Dun look back. Wat chef say juz listen n do the correction frm there n juz dun repeat it again. Try not to stress yourself up too much, we muz learn how to relax ourself. If not u will break down veri easily de! N thanks for the mini muffines... Yummy yummy.... :)
Lastly, i went back to jurong hse yesterday to acc mum for lunch... Hehe.. Lele was so happy to see u! OMG... She put on so much weight, she's eating rice now. Din wan to eat her food anymore. Chatted with mum, n she cried... My heart sank again... So heart pain to see her crying, i noe tat she's suffering. Telling me tat once everything is done we will get a hse n move out. I cant do anything now but juz to give her my listening ears n shoulder. When i was at hm, i was so scared. Cos i din noe when the old man will come back hm. I told mum i have not seen him for mths. I hardly can rmb how he look like. Cos deep in he's starting to be blur image of him. N my fear come true, i heard him clearing his throat when he's downstairs. I went really blur, din noe wat to do. I even din have the chance to tell mum, the lift door open. N mum also got shock. We quickly get chng n went out of the hse. He got mi clothes n dried mango. He even gave mi money which he din for few mths. I took it frm him, i gave away the dried mango n put the clothes at hm. i accept the money frm him does not mean i forgive him. Cos i din wan to let him noe how i hate him. I'm putting a act on him. I also din wan mum to b in a difficult position. I was so scared tat he will ask mi lots of things. I juz quickly get chng n out i go. Mum told mi he have not been going back hm to sleep. I told her, juz let him b. No need bother abt him.
Went to meet my god ma with mum, had coffee at starbuck. I was telling mum, u noe among all of u i think i'm really the one playing the bad person role. I really hate him deep in, n i still got to treat him like nothing happen. Accept his things, listen to wat he got to say. But right behind i'm any other different person. N i was so disspointed with wat mum say, she say she scared mi i will be soft hearted n forgive him. My god ma even said tat when he's old i will look after him. How many time do u need mi to say, since after he chase mi out. I'm a child w/o a father. N i wan u to leave him cos he have created lots of pain in us. Mum also say, my second bro is the one who really hate him most n will not forgive him. N he is the who really mentally suffering more than i do cos he need to see the old man at hm. I juz kept quiet... U really think tat i'm enjoying myself outside. U noe who worried i am, how much worried i have. Fear that my phone will ring any time. Fear tat wat will happen next!!! I'm in the middle, everyone will call mi to check how things r! How mentally stress am i! N u juz say tat u think tat i will b soft hearted, bro is more stressful than mi. I have nothing to say but to juz kept quiet only. (i teared when i'm typing) I really wonder who is the one who can understand how i feel!!!
Anyway life still got go on... I will not look back. I told myslef i got to b strong! Juz hope tat things will get settled soon!!!
Yesterday was not a good day. Quite a no of things happen. My heart was so ache when i saw my 2 loves one tear in front of mi. N also a remark tat i din expect to come out frm her. Where shall i start... Was in the afternoon shift yesterday, when to meet pin at city hall at 0830 at city hall. To take dappy's bday present frm her. Cos will not b seeing dappy till sat. So din wan to drag till so long. N she also told mi that she feel veri sian tat no fren going to celebrate for her. So wanted to give her the surprise, so i went down to sch to look for her. Emmm... When she saw me, the first thing was shock. Than asked mi why are u here so early. I told her i specially came all the way here to look for you. N immediately she say in my face, dun bluff... You're here to look for Esther. Not ME lor... My heart juz sank, i was so disappointed i almost tear. I showed her the bag, she than got shock she said sorry to mi. Finally she believed tat i was there to send my wishes n to pass her the present. After all when i saw the smile on her face, i was happy. Is a bag tat she wanted to have! And i made her happy at the moment during her bday.
Before i went to look for dappy, i saw mark. Mark told mi tat Esther was not in a mood. She's veri stress, upset/angry with the classmates. Coz they refuse to work as a team, n everyone asking her question n din wan to work. Sometime i really wonder they r thinking. Is it bcos of their age of being too young or they're pampered at hm. Sometime i really find their thinking veri childish. Wat is e point of going against someone or to back stab a person. At the end, do you really feel happy abt it??? I really wonder at time wat ppl r thinking, can't u juz have a pure heart to treat ppl. I also hurted her deeply in the heart. I msg her something which i din mean anything. But i din noe tat hurt her so much. I'm really sorry, i promise tat i will not say tat anymore. I really felt so bad when i noe tat i said something tat i hurt her. Girl i will not b like other of ur frenz who will juz leave a footprint n juz leave u alone suddenly. I have went thru that i noe how it feel. As i always say this jie jie will b with you always. Haha... At time we really wonder if we are related. r we blood sister?? So coincidence tat things we went thru is almost the same, we have almost the same dislike/like, character also almost the same. Is like so hard to believe and tat y we can click so well. Wanted to brighten up her day by getting chocolate n mango juice for her. N when she saw mi she walked away n was angry. Hehe, but she still come out n say hi to mi after tat. We walked to the store, n she suddenly cried. N i was shock... Daryl was also... Pull her to the back, din noe wat to say but juz to lend her my shoulder to cry out. I always believed tat by crying out u will feel much more better than swallow eveything into your stomach. Can feel how stress she was by the work n how hurt she was when she saw the msg. My heart sank when i see her cry. Wat i only can do is listening ears n shoulder for her, cos i really din noe wat i say n do. Girl, in work we always learn frm our mistake frm there. No one is perfect in this world. We juz got to go on with life, at time we really can't bother too much how ppl say n look at us. If you think tat you stand firm where u r there's nothing to b afraid of. Wat have happen have happen juz carry on walking. Dun look back. Wat chef say juz listen n do the correction frm there n juz dun repeat it again. Try not to stress yourself up too much, we muz learn how to relax ourself. If not u will break down veri easily de! N thanks for the mini muffines... Yummy yummy.... :)
Lastly, i went back to jurong hse yesterday to acc mum for lunch... Hehe.. Lele was so happy to see u! OMG... She put on so much weight, she's eating rice now. Din wan to eat her food anymore. Chatted with mum, n she cried... My heart sank again... So heart pain to see her crying, i noe tat she's suffering. Telling me tat once everything is done we will get a hse n move out. I cant do anything now but juz to give her my listening ears n shoulder. When i was at hm, i was so scared. Cos i din noe when the old man will come back hm. I told mum i have not seen him for mths. I hardly can rmb how he look like. Cos deep in he's starting to be blur image of him. N my fear come true, i heard him clearing his throat when he's downstairs. I went really blur, din noe wat to do. I even din have the chance to tell mum, the lift door open. N mum also got shock. We quickly get chng n went out of the hse. He got mi clothes n dried mango. He even gave mi money which he din for few mths. I took it frm him, i gave away the dried mango n put the clothes at hm. i accept the money frm him does not mean i forgive him. Cos i din wan to let him noe how i hate him. I'm putting a act on him. I also din wan mum to b in a difficult position. I was so scared tat he will ask mi lots of things. I juz quickly get chng n out i go. Mum told mi he have not been going back hm to sleep. I told her, juz let him b. No need bother abt him.
Went to meet my god ma with mum, had coffee at starbuck. I was telling mum, u noe among all of u i think i'm really the one playing the bad person role. I really hate him deep in, n i still got to treat him like nothing happen. Accept his things, listen to wat he got to say. But right behind i'm any other different person. N i was so disspointed with wat mum say, she say she scared mi i will be soft hearted n forgive him. My god ma even said tat when he's old i will look after him. How many time do u need mi to say, since after he chase mi out. I'm a child w/o a father. N i wan u to leave him cos he have created lots of pain in us. Mum also say, my second bro is the one who really hate him most n will not forgive him. N he is the who really mentally suffering more than i do cos he need to see the old man at hm. I juz kept quiet... U really think tat i'm enjoying myself outside. U noe who worried i am, how much worried i have. Fear that my phone will ring any time. Fear tat wat will happen next!!! I'm in the middle, everyone will call mi to check how things r! How mentally stress am i! N u juz say tat u think tat i will b soft hearted, bro is more stressful than mi. I have nothing to say but to juz kept quiet only. (i teared when i'm typing) I really wonder who is the one who can understand how i feel!!!
Anyway life still got go on... I will not look back. I told myslef i got to b strong! Juz hope tat things will get settled soon!!!
posted by Amelia at
11:39 AM
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